To Wish
by goblz
Summary: Jan thinks she wants to be an only child until one of her siblings gets hit by a car.


**Author's Notes: Brady Bunch you say? Yup, here I am. LOL. The idea of putting Peter in the hospital struck me the other day and I just couldn't get rid of it. Numerous ideas went through my mind and it was driving me crazy. This is the result. Sorry if you love Peter or hate Jan. LOL. By the way, I love Peter. He's by far my favorite Brady. If you have never read anything of mine before, you should know that my favorites are always the ones I hurt. LOL. If you read, please review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters! I made no profits whatsoever in writing this!!! But I did lose sleep, lol**

**To Wish**

Jan Brady had spent the whole night awake in her room, listening to the calm breathing of her two sisters. How many times in the last few years had she wished to be an only child? She was convinced that her life would be easier if she were. After all, her identity was almost entirely linked to her siblings. She was beyond sick of hearing from people about how great Marcia was or someone referring to her as Cindy's older sister. It was hard to make new friends when so many girls now were asking to be introduced to Peter, sometimes even Greg!

There were six Brady kids in all, and Jan fell fourth in the line. Greg was the oldest at seventeen, followed by Marcia who had just turned sixteen. Peter would turn fifteen in about four months, and about five months after his birthday Jan would also be fifteen. The fifth child, Bobby, would be twelve in just a few weeks and Cindy was now ten.

The three boys shared a bedroom, as did the three girls. The two bedrooms were connected by a bathroom, which all six kids shared. Jan never got the privacy she craved, but she couldn't complain too much about this because her brothers and sisters never got privacy either.

But on top of that, Jan was always being recognized as one of the Brady kids. It seemed that it was all people knew her as. She resented it greatly. She was more than just a Brady; why couldn't other people see that in her? When would people start to see that there was more to Jan Brady than her five siblings?

Although she would never admit it to anyone, she wanted to be more like Marcia. In some ways, that was. Marcia was confident; she didn't suffer from insecurities. Greg was that way as well. Jan presumed it was because they were the oldest children, and it made sense. Greg and Marcia were the confident ones, while Bobby and Cindy were the cute ones. That left her and Peter in the middle.

Peter understood her better than anyone else in the family did, and that was mostly because he was also the middle child of the family. He had his own insecurities, although they were different than hers and were shown differently. The other reason he understood her so well was because they were so close in age; she was a year behind him in school but they shared some mutual friends and often did school activities together. But now as he was getting older, girls were starting to pay more attention to him, and he in turn was paying more attention to them. It was being just a Brady sister all over again for Jan.

Her identity crisis troubled her enough to keep her up that night and, quite irrationally, she felt the frustration at being unable to fall asleep being directed towards her brothers and sisters. If she were an only child then she'd be sleeping peacefully.

When finally the shreds of light began to peep through the window, Jan pulled herself out of bed. She would just have to accept that she would be tired, but luckily she was still young to get through one day without sleep. Nevertheless, she was in for a rough day.

Her dad, Mike, and Alice the housekeeper, were both up drinking coffee. Mike was absorbed in the newspaper until he saw Jan out of the corner of his eye. "What are you doing up?" he asked her curiously.

"I didn't really sleep that well," she admitted as Alice poured her a cup of orange juice. She assured him she was all right, but he didn't look terribly convinced. When he asked if she wanted to stay home for the day from school, she was admittedly tempted, but decided she'd just end up spending the day like she had last night. She promised she was fine and could handle going to school.

She was still feeling resentful towards her siblings, even though she knew deep down her problems were not their fault. She was too tired to care, however, and therefore she spent all of breakfast and the car ride to school in silence.

Greg had his own car that their parents had given him, but in return he had to drive everyone to school. Bobby and Cindy were dropped off first; they Cindy were still in elementary school, but next year Bobby would move up to the junior high, just in time for Peter to go into high school. Greg dropped Jan and Peter off at Fillmore Junior High before heading to the high school.

"Are you all right?" Peter asked Jan as they walked away from the parking lot towards the school. "You're really quiet today."

"Oh, I'm just tired," she answered. "Didn't sleep too well last night."

As they parted ways to head to their lockers, Jan felt proud that at least she hadn't lied to her brother. She was very tired and was wishing that she had taken up her father's offer to stay home.

Just as she was closing her locker, about to head off to English, a girl with long red hair approached her smiling. "You're Jan Brady, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am. Nice to meet you," Jan greeted pleasantly, even though she had a feeling this girl was going to mention one of Jan's siblings.

"It's nice to meet you too," the girl replied, still smiling. "I was wondering… wow, this is kind of awkward. I was hoping that maybe you could introduce me to your brother Peter."

"Peter?" Jan felt her smile fade. Again someone was only talking to her because of one of her siblings! She wanted to shout to the world that she was her own person, to stop talking about her siblings and look at her for who she really was. As if Jan herself even knew.

"Yeah, he's in my algebra class, and I've been eyeing him for a few months but I just can't work up the nerve to talk to him!!"

"Oh, well, he has a girlfriend," Jan lied quickly, desperately wanting this girl to leave her alone. "Actually he has two. Yeah, and obviously neither of them knows about each other. Peter likes to have his fun, you know? He's kind of a jerk. You're better off staying away."

The red-head looked startled but Jan didn't care as she quickly walked away. She hoped her lies wouldn't get back to Peter; he'd be furious with her. As she walked into class and took a seat, guilt was already starting to consume her thoughts.

Staying awake in her classes proved to be more difficult than Jan had thought it would be. Twice teachers had to shake her awake. She was thankful when lunch came around and headed outside to meet her friends.

The girls she was meeting, Vivian and Melinda, always got food from the cafeteria so Jan was always the first to get to the tree by the east wall of the school. It faced the park across the school, where the ninth graders were allowed to go to eat if they wished.

The early afternoon was beautiful. A soft, warm breeze flew through the early spring air. Various flowers were in bloom and the grass was slowly turning green again. As Jan waited for her friends, she saw Peter with a couple of his friends heading towards the park. They stopped at the edge of the sidewalk waiting for the light to change before they crossed the street. Jan remembered her lie from that morning and, feeling incredibly guilty, decided she should tell him what she'd said before he heard it from someone else and apologize.

She stood up and started walking his way, a few students blocking her path to him as they strolled leisurely along the grounds. She was about to call out to him when the light changed. He stepped out onto the street, not noticing or realizing that the quickly approaching car was not slowing down for the light.

Jan shrieked as she heard the squeal of car brakes, but the driver had looked up too late; the car collided with Peter's body. He hit the hood with a loud bang and then rammed into the windshield. As the car came to a sudden stop, he rolled down off the car, sprawled out on the street unconscious.

Peter's friends were at his side in a second. A crowd of students gathered quickly at the edge of the sidewalk, everyone looking shocked and anxious. Jan pushed her way through the few students in front of her, horror and dread weighing her down.

"Peter? Oh my God, wake up! Please be okay!" Trembling, she bent down by her brother, who lay prone bleeding heavily for his head. His eyes remained closed and he did not move at her request. She turned to his friends. "Go call 911!" she exclaimed hysterically as tears poured out of her eyes. One of the boys whom Jan didn't know took off running towards the school.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize—I wasn't paying attention!" a voice above Jan rang in her ears. She looked up to see through her tears a twentysomething blonde female looking frantic. Rage filled her at the site of the girl. "I'm not used to the light changing… Is okay? He's alive right?"

Elliott Greene, Peter's best friend, took his shaking hand to Peter's neck. "There's a pulse," he said, sighing with relief. "Here comes David with Mr. Saunders."

David, the friend who'd gone for help, was running back towards them, the principal running behind him. The crowd of students watching was growing exponentially. Jan was staring down at her brother in shock; breathing heavily as if she'd just run a mile. The tears weren't coming quite so freely but still streaked down her face. Mr. Saunders bent down next to her. He knew the Bradys well and assured her that the secretary was on the phone with the 911 operators and that help was on the way.

She'd started to panic again before the paramedics arrived. Why were they taking so long? Didn't they know Peter's life depended on them getting here? When they finally came, she watched the paramedics put a C-collar on her injured brother and carefully roll him onto his back. They quickly put an oxygen mask on him and proceeded to load him into the ambulance. The principal had already brought Jan her backpack and said she could go to the hospital. The paramedics told her to get in the front seat quickly.

Even though the ambulance was flying down the streets with the lights and sirens blaring, it seemed to her like they would never reach the hospital. When they had, she jumped out of the vehicle and entered the hospital just steps behind the stretcher bearing her unconscious, bloodied brother. The wound on his head had already bled so much that most of his face was covered in blood; dark splotches colored his white shirt and Jan was sure that not all of the blood on it was from the head injury. She watched a handful of doctors and nurses rush towards them and wisk Peter away, the paramedics going with explaining what had happened and details of his vitals. She was left standing alone, shaking and crying, with only one thing she could do: call home.

* * *

Carol Brady, mother to the six Brady kids, was the first of the family to get to the hospital. She ran into the ER in a frenzy, looking like she was about to have a breakdown. Alice came in right behind her, also looking distraught. They spotted Jan sitting on a bench in the waiting area and hurried over to her.

"I saw it happen, Mom," Jan choked tearfully. "Some girl wasn't even paying attention! She was supposed to stop… I thought he was dead." She broke into sobs here as Carol embraced her tightly. After a few minutes the older blonde pulled away to go to the nurses' station to see what information she could get.

"Everyone else will be here soon; we left messages at the high school for Greg and Marcia to pick up Bobby and Cindy and get over here; your dad is already on his way." Alice said, taking a seat next to Jan. She grabbed Jan's hand comfortingly. "You okay kiddo?"

Shaking her head, Jan didn't trust herself to speak. She looked away but didn't let go of Alice's extended hand.

She was not really sure how much time passed before her dad arrived, or before her four other siblings came storming in demanding to know what had happened. It all seemed to happen rather quickly but time seemed to pass by slowly as well. She didn't even notice when Alice let go of her hand to hug the other kids and try to comfort Mike and Carol. She just sat there staring at the nurses' station, hoping desperately every time she saw a doctor or nurse walk by that they were coming to give news.

She was brought out of this temporarily when she overheard Greg asking their parents if she was all right.

"She saw the accident," Carol explained in a shaky voice. "I think she's in shock over it a little bit. Once she hears that he'll be okay I think she'll be better." From the tone of her mother's voice, Jan knew Carol was only hoping that the news would be good.

Greg sat down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. Reluctantly she looked over at him. "Don't pull into yourself," he advised her kindly. "We all need each other right now. I think if I'd seen… what you did I'd be going completely crazy." Greg's eyes wandered off for a minute, shuddering.

Mentioning what she'd seen made her shudder, too. She kept replaying it in her mind; it seemed to be etched there and she was positive she would be seeing it for the rest of her life. "I am going crazy," she admitted hoarsely. He nodded back knowingly. She felt awful that he was sitting here worrying about her and she knew Marcia, Cindy and Bobby were, too. Just that morning she'd been wishing she was an only child. Now she couldn't believe she'd ever wanted a life without her brothers and sisters.

Right now all her problems from this morning seemed so trivial. Was it so bad to be known as one of the Brady kids? She'd been so afraid of being nothing else that she'd forgotten that her family was a huge part of who she was. At the moment picturing her life without them seemed so lonely. No, life would not be better without them.

Life certainly wouldn't be better without Peter. He was closest to her in age, and he'd always looked out for her and stood up for her when she needed it. He made a great brother. Some sister she'd been; she had practically just wished him out of her life.

_I deserve this,_ she thought, her eyes widening in horror. _I wanted to be an only child and now I'm losing one of my brothers. But he doesn't deserve this! And neither does anyone else in our family! I wish I could take it back, I wish I had never wanted to be an only child._ Again the haunting image of the accident played in her mind.

She didn't realize it, but she had started crying again. Greg pulled her closer to him. Someone grabbed her left hand: Marcia was now sitting on her other side. Cindy and Bobby were sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of them, making a circle of the five as they were all now holding hands. Marcia gave her hand a little squeeze and, even though the faces of all four of them were grim, this reassured Jan. She swore to herself then to always appreciate her brothers and sisters. The truth was, they were a part of her, and she was now realizing that it wasn't a bad thing at all.

**The End**


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